Its the 28th of November, and for a man who is lightly experimenting with facial hair it has been a terrible month.
Its widely recognised that men grow moustaches in Movember, 90% of which look ridiculous. Now, as a man who does not and never has grown facial hair fantastically I got to a point in my life were I thought, I’m going to change my face. And as i’m not particurlarly fond of putting make up on (I’m not judging), I decided I would go the way of the face hair.
For 11 months out of 12 most people will probably look at me and think ‘well he clearly can’t grow facial hair well’ or alternatively ‘WHAT A PRICK’ depending on how hip and happening the person in question is.
So to the main part of my story, its quite frustrating when the question gets asked ‘So are you doing Movemeber?’ ‘NO IM NOT, THIS IS A POOR CHOICE AND I AM TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME BY GROWING IT FURTHER.’
Thats all I have to say for now, and just incase it wasn’t clear I’m not doing Movemeber.
Bring on Decemeber.
What a guy. Alan Rickman is better than you or I, unless Tom Selleck is reading this, then you are on level par. Alan Rickman, if you do not know, is the worlds best actor and has played many famous roles such as Hans Gruber (The Bad Guy in Die Hard), Professor Snape (The ‘Bad’ Guy in Harry Potter), The guy who’s a bit of a dick(In Love Actually) and he also plays a guy who murders a child in the film Snow Cake (Among many others). As you can tell, he doesn’t really play the nice guy. Even in Love Actually, a warm loving Christmas Rom-Com he managed to cheat on his wife.
When asked why he always plays the bad guy however, Alan replied ‘I don’t play the bad characters, I play the interesting characters’. Which if you watch back the films he’s in, he usually is dam awesome. If I was to have a dream dinner party I think he’d be there, and Cheryl Cole with Pixie Lott possibly Kelly Brook? Okay so the dinner party seems to have turned into more of an orgy, although I think The Rickman is a bit too classy for an orgy, I’d imagine he’d only accept a sex banquet.
So in conclusion, Alan Rickman is a god among men and I would probably join him for a sex banquet. I’m glad we cleared that one up.
He’s so cool, he can almost not look like a penis in this pose. Almost.
So, this morning I came to the conclusion that I may have too much time on my hands with the dream my mind created last night.
It began in the back seat of a friends car, looking out of the back window into what seemed to be a zoo cage. In the zoo cage was a Panda and for some reason I was under the impression he was a very dangerous Panda. Being alone I panicked and jumped into the front seat of the car and drove out of the cage. After escaping the realms of the cage, I drove down countless country lanes still shocked and scared from the panda experience. Consequently I drove straight into the back of a red van, and the driver got out of the van.
The driver looked a bit like a classic stereotypical southerner from America, and not at all argressively asked for my insurance details. Being in somebody else’s car I got scared and drove off and suddenly, in classic dream style, I was inside my house. Where a letter was on the floor. I opened it and it was from Hogwarts telling me that I had qualified to get in.
When I arrived at, what looked nothing like, Hogwarts, I was instructed to get a pinch of salt and drop it in hot wax, if it went red you were accepted and if it went black you had done wrong and you would not be allowed in. It went black and then I woke up.
In conclusion, I’m weird.
Yesterday my phone decided to become totally unresponsive which is always a great laugh, and so I am currently un-reachable (apart from via Facebook, Twitter, Email, Talking to, and letters). So yeah, totally off the map.
And rather than using my spare phone, I’ve decided to attempt to live without. What you’ve got to understand for this next part of the blog is I am a massive hypocrite, most of the stuff I say I disagree with, unless it is me doing it. If that makes any sense?
I hate peoples dependence on phones nowadays, if there is a lapse in a conversation everyone just immediately gets there head down looking at there phone.
The attention span of people nowadays is shocking, for example right now I am writing this while chatting with my friend and playing two, yes two computer games. Films are getting shorter, people can’t walk to places without music in there ears and half way through writing this I got bored and did something else. So in conclusion, my phones broken and people suck. GOOD DAY.
Yes can’t is spelt wrong. Screw you.
This task has been made all the harder due to me actually being busy and doing stuff, and when I’m not busy I can’t really be bothered to write pointless blogs.
Who’s stupid idea was this anyway? Oh mine. Yeah.. So I’d imagine you’ll get quite a few of these grouped letters over the next few days, as tomorrow I am going to Wembley and have to be up at 4.30 AM. Oh well. COME ON YOU BLUES.
So something strange happened over the weekend, I actually had things to do. It was bizarre, my body barely coped and I’m in a state of shock. But hopefully with your love and support I’ll make it through this tough period in my life.
So G, H and I. I really should’ve thought of a topic before just beginning to ramble. Great Hairy Insects perhaps or Genius Hilarious Infants or even Good Housing Inquiries . All of those sound like riveting topics to cover, especially the infants one, mainly because I’m not sure there has ever been a genius hilarious infant, because I’m pretty sure they can’t talk. That does strongly rely on age however and is a totally stupid comment. Ooop my dogs are barking, wait a second (runs downstairs, turns out to be the post man) What a superb distraction that was.
So anyway, I’m going to leave this blog post now as it has disgraced me and my family and hopefully all my loyal fanbase (that is a hopeful statement) will forgive me and hope for an improved performance tomorrow.
I could’ve been all soppy and done F for friends or family. But I didn’t think that would be much of a read and so have instead decided to do it on the Zuckerburg creation of Facebook.
I often wonder what life would be like without the key component to procrastinating, I find myself looking at somebodies photo’s from 2008 sometimes, just in a facebook trance, only to discover I have no idea who the person is or how I got there. It has begun a generation of people who seem to think people care about what they had for breakfast, and the fact it matters if you have 100 “friends” or 1000 “friends” (I have 343, I’m totally cool). Whatever figure you have on your facebook page take a good hard look at them and you can divide it into categories
- Genuine friends who you meet up with and talk too often
- Friends you have slowly lost contact with
- Hot girls/men
- Random people you’ve seen once
- Hot girls/men
- Seriously who are you.
I wonder how many people place me in the number 6 category. Also I was stating for both sexes then, I never add hot men. Unless Tom Selleck went onto facebook, I’d add him. What a man.
Facebook however is really good for keeping in contact with people you couldn’t necessarily keep in contact with so easily. When I went to Uni I was very daunted by the fact I may lose a lot of friends due to long distance, and Facebook really has helped continue the friendships.
But in the main facebook is a giant waste of time, something I look at for hours on end instead of doing something constructive like playing the playstation or tweeting. Ha, irony.
Today I have gone back to the format of three topics. Mainly so I don’t talk to much in depth about any of them.
I will begin talking about Easter. A few weeks a go on my university radio show, my co-host Sianie did a topical quiz about Easter for me to answer questions on air, and my knowledge of it shocked me. Mainly because I had none. I am not a particularly religious person, but like to believe there is something up there. I obviously know the basics but the reasons behind things and even embarrassingly the length of lent, 40 days? I always though it was a month.
Next up Everton. I have been an Everton Football Club fan as of 2 hours into my life as my Dad, also a blue, made sure I had a blue scarf, hat and teddy to brainwash me into supporting them. And I do, its almost an obsession now, however an obsession I love. Most football fans support Manchester United or Liverpool or more recently the Chelsea’s and Manchester Cities because its the easy option to watch your team win every week, so I suppose in that light it makes me a ‘true fan’.
And finally eggs. I HATE THEM. They stink, they are disgusting, there texture is disgusting…Its near to being a phobia, I literally cannot stand them.
So after all of that you will have taken, I’m a bit dumb, I like football too much and eggs freak me out. So I’m sure I’ve gone up massively in your estimations.
This picture will only boost your love for me I’m sure. And yes, thats make up.
So today I have decided to talk about the ordeal I am currently going through in my university career (It just sounds cooler described as a career) and that is my dissertation. For anybody that doesn’t know, a dissertation is large piece of writing in my case 10,000 words that you write on a pre-selected subject by you and create some findings within it. Its the most important project of my three years within Bangor University.
The title of my dissertation is :
An assessment of how growing financial gain has impacted on football in England?
Which in lamens terms is (say this in a child’s voice) ‘how much money de biiig foootball clubs use’. The child’s voice didn’t really work there but we’ll move on. The only issue with writing this is the constant referral to academic books which because my dissertation is all about the present day is very difficult.
So, with the deadline under a month a way and being around 1 quarter into it, I am mildly scared. But I must battle on and hopefully get a respectful grade on not disgrace my insanely intelligent family, I know what you’re thinking what happened to Callum then, I always ask myself the same thing..At least I’m tall…ish.
Now as this hasn’t been a particularly funny blog, I will put a funny limerick in at the end and a totally inappropriate picture!
To his friend, Ned said, rather blue,
‘My wife Edith just told me we’re through,
For she says I’m too fat.’
And his friend told him that,
‘You can’t have your cake and Edith, too’
Have a good day!
As you can see from my very non-specific title, today I didn’t really have a clue what to write about. And with it only being day three of PEDA this doesn’t bode well for the rest of the project (If you can call it that). HOWEVER, I will battle on. So, Cows, Custard and the Climate; three rather contrasting things all beginning with the letter C.
Cows are a quite a boring animal, their lives are always a rather ominous one of
- Eat Some Grass
- Be Killed for Beef
Not really a lifestyle I’m jealous of, I can eat grass whenever I want, I wouldn’t highly recommend it, its rather bland.
Custard is also something that I have very little interest, its not like I just chose three random words beginning with C..Okay I did. I do like custard on Danish Pastries though, which I’m sure interests you.
The Climate on the other hand, I have loads of material on that, last week we had a heatwave and today it snows. So basically the climate isn’t in a good way at the moment. Poor climate. (Thats my research)
I’m not sure what I’d rather be, a cow, some custard or the climate. However if you combined the three you could get a cow covered in custard at variable temperatures, that cow would be the coolest cow in the field.
I hope tomorrow will be more interesting. Feel free to give me a D word..Even though its not I can’t help but think that sounds sexual.
I bet you were hoping for a picture of a custard cow to make up for this blog. Nope just a normal cow.
When selecting Breasts as my topic for B, I am going to really struggle to not sound like a penisface. Here goes..
When searching for the word Breasts on the internet you get many superb alternatives like Boobs, Boobies, Bangers, Bosoms, Boobsters (I’ve never heard that one before) and many other words that don’t begin with B. I don’t think there will ever be a time when somebody goes to describe that female body part and says…’Oh Balls, I’ve run out of words’. I’m sure I could make some up now, ‘Offt check out those Wheelbarrows’ ‘Wouldn’t mind a piece of those Ravens’. Those were not good examples.
But the reason I have selected breasts to talk about is not because they have funny names, or even the fact that I’d regard myself as a breast man but more along the lines of why do people find them so fascinating.
I can assure you, if a woman had two large growths similar to breasts on her back that I would not find them attractive..Oh wait, there’s is isn’t there, buttocks. What was my point in this again?
Bazooka’s, is another word for them. Hilarious. Right, I’m not getting anywhere with this and will probably just end up Googling boobs.
I’m 20 years of age, I’m about to finish University, I can drive and drink legally and I’ve been basically living away from home for three years. And yet, I still don’t feel like I should be classed as an adult. Its so hard to comprehend , because the time has flown by so quickly.
Maybe it is the fact that I really enjoy being immature and childish, and mentally I’m more along the lines of
a mature 12 year old a reasonably mature 12 year old. Its something that really daunts me everyday, as next thing I know I’ll be settling down, or having a family or *gulps* not going out drinking every week (Don’t Drink Kids).
Maturity levels are heavily based on your lifes experiences in my opinion and as a 20 year old boy/man/thing, sitting infront of a screen playing football manager for days on end has not really taught me much, apart from how to be an expert football manager, on a computer game.
However, when the circumstances are correct I can be reasonably mature.But I always feel like I’m almost putting on a different personality, and although I’m Gemini and they claim that those folk have two different personalities (I’m not a fan of star signs), I think its just because that is not who I am right now, or maybe its just who I don’t want to be right now. However sooner or later I’m going to have to get my arse into gear and grow up.
Thanks for reading Team.
Now, that title doesn’t make any sense. I watch a lot of Youtube videos and quite often in April, vloggers or video bloggers, do something called VEDA (Vlog Every Day in April). And so, I’ve decided to instead to do PEDA (POST Every Day in April). Genius eh? But to add to the fun, I’m also going to have the theme of the Alphabet, and so everyday will be talking about A, then B then so on. I do realise that there are more days than letters but I’ve also started this on the 2nd so i’m not exactly following to the rules so just roll with it. I can feel the excitment brimming.
Any suggestions for days may be considered, but the odds of that happening are low. The suggestions that is, not the consideration.
I feel the only way I can get people reading these blogs is one of two things; To put interesting and informative posts all the time, or put a picture of me in my boxers on my homepage. If you are on my page you’ll know which option I went for.
Yup, arousal is normal right about now.And if that hasn’t broken the ice, I’m not sure if I will ever.
I sincerely apologise.
Right, even though I’d imagine all my followers (Hi Karl) know who I am, because why would some randoms follow me when I have just created this page. That is if I have indeed created a page, not just incorrectly clicked some buttons. Both of which are possibilities.
I am Callum Whyte, 20 years old, 21 in June and around 6 weeks away from finishing a three year university course studying Media and Journalism at Bangor University. I enjoy football a little too much and support Everton FC. My main career interest is Radio, mainly because I am quite a good talker. As you can tell from that perfect English. I’m not even sure talker is a word (Googles it, and it is. High Five!). I will now click Create post, hope for the best and then probably almost immediately begin my next post. However, this being a regular thing is doubtful I’m just over excited at yet another website I can post my near on pointless views!
Stay in school kids.