I seem to have been on good texting form last night.
Its the 28th of November, and for a man who is lightly experimenting with facial hair it has been a terrible month.
Its widely recognised that men grow moustaches in Movember, 90% of which look ridiculous. Now, as a man who does not and never has grown facial hair fantastically I got to a point in my life were I thought, I’m going to change my face. And as i’m not particurlarly fond of putting make up on (I’m not judging), I decided I would go the way of the face hair.
For 11 months out of 12 most people will probably look at me and think ‘well he clearly can’t grow facial hair well’ or alternatively ‘WHAT A PRICK’ depending on how hip and happening the person in question is.
So to the main part of my story, its quite frustrating when the question gets asked ‘So are you doing Movemeber?’ ‘NO IM NOT, THIS IS A POOR CHOICE AND I AM TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME BY GROWING IT FURTHER.’
Thats all I have to say for now, and just incase it wasn’t clear I’m not doing Movemeber.
Bring on Decemeber.
What a guy. Alan Rickman is better than you or I, unless Tom Selleck is reading this, then you are on level par. Alan Rickman, if you do not know, is the worlds best actor and has played many famous roles such as Hans Gruber (The Bad Guy in Die Hard), Professor Snape (The ‘Bad’ Guy in Harry Potter), The guy who’s a bit of a dick(In Love Actually) and he also plays a guy who murders a child in the film Snow Cake (Among many others). As you can tell, he doesn’t really play the nice guy. Even in Love Actually, a warm loving Christmas Rom-Com he managed to cheat on his wife.
When asked why he always plays the bad guy however, Alan replied ‘I don’t play the bad characters, I play the interesting characters’. Which if you watch back the films he’s in, he usually is dam awesome. If I was to have a dream dinner party I think he’d be there, and Cheryl Cole with Pixie Lott possibly Kelly Brook? Okay so the dinner party seems to have turned into more of an orgy, although I think The Rickman is a bit too classy for an orgy, I’d imagine he’d only accept a sex banquet.
So in conclusion, Alan Rickman is a god among men and I would probably join him for a sex banquet. I’m glad we cleared that one up.
He’s so cool, he can almost not look like a penis in this pose. Almost.
So, this morning I came to the conclusion that I may have too much time on my hands with the dream my mind created last night.
It began in the back seat of a friends car, looking out of the back window into what seemed to be a zoo cage. In the zoo cage was a Panda and for some reason I was under the impression he was a very dangerous Panda. Being alone I panicked and jumped into the front seat of the car and drove out of the cage. After escaping the realms of the cage, I drove down countless country lanes still shocked and scared from the panda experience. Consequently I drove straight into the back of a red van, and the driver got out of the van.
The driver looked a bit like a classic stereotypical southerner from America, and not at all argressively asked for my insurance details. Being in somebody else’s car I got scared and drove off and suddenly, in classic dream style, I was inside my house. Where a letter was on the floor. I opened it and it was from Hogwarts telling me that I had qualified to get in.
When I arrived at, what looked nothing like, Hogwarts, I was instructed to get a pinch of salt and drop it in hot wax, if it went red you were accepted and if it went black you had done wrong and you would not be allowed in. It went black and then I woke up.
In conclusion, I’m weird.